One thing
that is for sure is that everyone gets envious sometimes, everyone looks at
someone else at some point in their life and thinks “oh I wish I had what she
has” or “I wish I could be a little more like him”, it is natural to want what
others have. It wasn't until recently, especially around blogging, that I began
to channel this envy into motivation and use my envy in a positive way to turn
around the situation and benefit myself.
Back in high
school I would get super envious of others, their popularity, their out-going
character, their intelligence etc, I would even change who I was and my
character to try to be more like them, to have what they have. I would force
myself to be someone I really wasn't in the hopes it would bring me what others
had whether that be popularity, grades, acceptance, but really I was losing my
own character by rushing into what I thought I wanted.
I have never
been someone who has been so clouded by jealous it brought forth hatred or a
motivation for revenge or wanting to ruin someone’s success, but I know it is a
very common result of envy. To avoid myself being clouded or abruptly changing like
I did back in high school, I now transform my envy into motivation.
HOW?
Transforming
your envy isn’t always easy depending on the extent of the envy and your
character as a person. What I do is I see that person as motivation, for
example if a blogger is really successful, has a huge following and readership,
works with incredible companies etc instead of resenting this blogger for their
success I focus my energy into being inspired by that blogger.
“I want what
she has, one day I will have what she has.”
The same
works for non-blogger situations. I have been envious of other’s intelligence
in university or envious of how easily they sail through essays. Instead of
resenting this person and bad talking them I instead look to them as a vision
of what I could have if I were to plan better or be more careful or start
assignments earlier.
“I wish I
was just as intelligent, but I am, I just have to use it better.”
THE RECIPE OF SUCCESS
A great way
of helping their success motivate you is to access what makes them successful,
what have they done that you haven’t? Have they stepped outside their comfort
box? Have they been blogging longer? How often do they publish blog posts? What
makes their blog posts so unique and eye-catching?
By no means
am I telling you to copy another blogger, but instead to be motivated by them.
If it is obvious they work incredibly hard on their content, make sure that is
evident in your posts too. If they have been blogging much longer, remind
yourself that Rome wasn’t built in a day, it takes time! How do the project
their personality into their blog? Is it their style of writing, their images,
their layout? What made you drawn to their blog? What makes others drawn to
yours? Do you have to try harder with spell-checking? Would your blog look
better with larger or smaller images?
Don’t focus
too hard on trying to be ‘unique’ as it does result in originality actually
being pulled from your blog. Instead focus on what YOU think your blog could
use, what makes your blog (beautiful? No? No 1D fans here?) more you! Whether
it be a little joke every so often, creative images, different styles of posts,
whatever you want to add, and stop caring about ‘fitting in’ or being ‘unique’.
This also
works for non-blogging situations too of course. Do you find yourself jealous
of the intelligent guy in class? Although it may be a natural thing for him,
you can still learn from him in a non-creepy, follow him home kind of way. Does
he take notes? Maybe you should too, is he ever absent? Perfect attendance probably
helps! Does he ask questions? Also a great help. Even if he doesn’t do all of
these you still can if you think it would help you to learn better, everyone is
totally different. Use his intelligence as a goal of where you want to be by
the end of the semester.
Or maybe you
are super jealous of that girl who always dresses incredibly! What does she do?
Does she care what others think of her? Probably not, does she rework
previously worn clothing items into better outfits? Most likely. Does she
follow every trend that hits the runway? Most likely not. Try to push the
envelope like she does, or stop caring if others may think your outfit isn’t
nice. Be more like her without copying her every fashionable move.
ASK
Something
that definitely helps to become motivated by others is asking for their story.
This is typically more normal when talking to a successful blogger. Did they
start off just as lost as you? Definitely! Did they have someone to look up to?
Did they take breaks, feel unmotivated and useless sometimes? Of course. Asking
a blogger you’re envious of for advice is a key in beginning to view them as a
motivator and you can even start to unlock your own success with the advice
they give.
Non-blogger
related, ask the super intelligent guy how he revises for exams, you may get
some tips or you may realise he over works himself far too much and come to
help him be less strict on himself. Ask the fashion savvy girl how she got into
fashion, or how she blocks out the negative comments threw at her.
You can
learn from everyone around you. Instead of seeing these people as your
competition or bad mouthing them out of jealousy see them as motivation, see
them as a goal for where you would like to be one day.
Can you relate? Do
you need to channel that envy elsewhere?
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