Why I am okay with Being Boring

Monday, 13 March 2017

Why I am okay with Being Boring
I was scrolling down Instagram the other morning, lying in bed, the sun was shining through my curtains and I knew I had to tear myself away from the duvet, but all I could think about what was how utterly boring I am. This isn't even a joke, I was laying in bed, 10:30 am having some sort of breakdown about how boring I am. Let me put this into perspective for you, I was off uni last week, it was reading week which meant I didn't have to be in and you know what I did? I done dissertation work, I wrote up essays, I scheduled blog posts. No wait, that's wrong I also went to Ikea and into town with my friend, but this covered two of the 9 straight days I had off. 

I know what you're thinking, "yeah, but a reading week means you read, it means you study" who are you trying to kid? Who actually reads and studies when they have a week off university, me that's who. It's not that I don't want to do exciting things, I want to go out, I want to travel, I want to experience the world and try new things, eat new food, meet new people, but the timing is wrong. For me, I've always been one of those people who plan out their lives "I'll go to high school for six years, I'll get into this uni and study this course and take this long then get into this job". Yes, I did actually believe at one point that the world worked like that, that if we planned enough everything would just fall into place. 

Then my last year of school came and I was miserable, I'm not going to lie to you if you're currently going through high school, it's the worst, it is not "the best years of your life" it sucks. I was so miserable, I hated this routine I was in with myself, I hated myself and how all these people knew everything about me, I felt like I had nothing to help me grow, I was trapped, so I left. I left 3 weeks into my last year of high school and I went to college, that's when I realised that no amount of planning can give you a perfect life. If someone had to ask me when was there a moment that completely changed my life, it would be that moment.

Although I now know the world doesn't work out perfectly for you and you can't just say things will happen and they will, I still plan. The only difference is that now I know that you have to work in order to have things go to plan, you can't plan on getting a job but never apply anywhere. So instead of planning everything and hoping for the best I have allowed myself to become boring af as long as in the end, I get to graduate with the degree I want, get the job I want because then I can have the life I want and do the fun, adventurous things I want and not only will I be financially stable, I'll be happy. 

For a lot of people this is bizarre, but to me, it's how I function, I am a perfectionist and above that, I am ambitious af like I'm serious don't step in my way or I will run you over. When I have a goal in mind I don't stop until I get it, I recognise that things don't always go right and the way you want them to, I realise that life can throw you curveballs and I understand that there will be times when my hard work and dedication just won't be enough, but it doesn't stop me from giving everything my all. I give everything I want to my all and then I can say that when it doesn't work out it wasn't my fault, it just wasn't meant to be. 


Don't get me wrong, I do actually do exciting things, I go to concerts often, which are my favourite thing in the entire planet to do, I go on adventures, I like to see new places and I have fun, but for the past three weeks I have been cooped up inside my bedroom, sat at my desk working on my dissertation and my essays and my blog. At this moment I am entirely 100% one of, if not the, most boring 20-year-olds on the planet I am perfectly happy to be. When I graduate in June and I get the grades I want, if I get the job I've dreamed of, then it will all be worth it to me. 

So, tell me are you okay being boring? What was the last exciting thing you did? Are you an adventurous person? 

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