Transform Envy into Motivation

Wednesday, 20 January 2016


One thing that is for sure is that everyone gets envious sometimes, everyone looks at someone else at some point in their life and thinks “oh I wish I had what she has” or “I wish I could be a little more like him”, it is natural to want what others have. It wasn't until recently, especially around blogging, that I began to channel this envy into motivation and use my envy in a positive way to turn around the situation and benefit myself.

Back in high school I would get super envious of others, their popularity, their out-going character, their intelligence etc, I would even change who I was and my character to try to be more like them, to have what they have. I would force myself to be someone I really wasn't in the hopes it would bring me what others had whether that be popularity, grades, acceptance, but really I was losing my own character by rushing into what I thought I wanted.

I have never been someone who has been so clouded by jealous it brought forth hatred or a motivation for revenge or wanting to ruin someone’s success, but I know it is a very common result of envy. To avoid myself being clouded or abruptly changing like I did back in high school, I now transform my envy into motivation.

HOW?
Transforming your envy isn’t always easy depending on the extent of the envy and your character as a person. What I do is I see that person as motivation, for example if a blogger is really successful, has a huge following and readership, works with incredible companies etc instead of resenting this blogger for their success I focus my energy into being inspired by that blogger.

“I want what she has, one day I will have what she has.”

The same works for non-blogger situations. I have been envious of other’s intelligence in university or envious of how easily they sail through essays. Instead of resenting this person and bad talking them I instead look to them as a vision of what I could have if I were to plan better or be more careful or start assignments earlier.

“I wish I was just as intelligent, but I am, I just have to use it better.”

THE RECIPE OF SUCCESS
A great way of helping their success motivate you is to access what makes them successful, what have they done that you haven’t? Have they stepped outside their comfort box? Have they been blogging longer? How often do they publish blog posts? What makes their blog posts so unique and eye-catching?

By no means am I telling you to copy another blogger, but instead to be motivated by them. If it is obvious they work incredibly hard on their content, make sure that is evident in your posts too. If they have been blogging much longer, remind yourself that Rome wasn’t built in a day, it takes time! How do the project their personality into their blog? Is it their style of writing, their images, their layout? What made you drawn to their blog? What makes others drawn to yours? Do you have to try harder with spell-checking? Would your blog look better with larger or smaller images?

Don’t focus too hard on trying to be ‘unique’ as it does result in originality actually being pulled from your blog. Instead focus on what YOU think your blog could use, what makes your blog (beautiful? No? No 1D fans here?) more you! Whether it be a little joke every so often, creative images, different styles of posts, whatever you want to add, and stop caring about ‘fitting in’ or being ‘unique’.

This also works for non-blogging situations too of course. Do you find yourself jealous of the intelligent guy in class? Although it may be a natural thing for him, you can still learn from him in a non-creepy, follow him home kind of way. Does he take notes? Maybe you should too, is he ever absent? Perfect attendance probably helps! Does he ask questions? Also a great help. Even if he doesn’t do all of these you still can if you think it would help you to learn better, everyone is totally different. Use his intelligence as a goal of where you want to be by the end of the semester.

Or maybe you are super jealous of that girl who always dresses incredibly! What does she do? Does she care what others think of her? Probably not, does she rework previously worn clothing items into better outfits? Most likely. Does she follow every trend that hits the runway? Most likely not. Try to push the envelope like she does, or stop caring if others may think your outfit isn’t nice. Be more like her without copying her every fashionable move.

ASK
Something that definitely helps to become motivated by others is asking for their story. This is typically more normal when talking to a successful blogger. Did they start off just as lost as you? Definitely! Did they have someone to look up to? Did they take breaks, feel unmotivated and useless sometimes? Of course. Asking a blogger you’re envious of for advice is a key in beginning to view them as a motivator and you can even start to unlock your own success with the advice they give.

Non-blogger related, ask the super intelligent guy how he revises for exams, you may get some tips or you may realise he over works himself far too much and come to help him be less strict on himself. Ask the fashion savvy girl how she got into fashion, or how she blocks out the negative comments threw at her.

You can learn from everyone around you. Instead of seeing these people as your competition or bad mouthing them out of jealousy see them as motivation, see them as a goal for where you would like to be one day.

Can you relate? Do you need to channel that envy elsewhere?

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