Faking it Until You Make it

Recently in a blogger chat there was a talk of confidence and being confident in yourself both as a person and as a blogger. I explained that faking it until you make it is the best way to become more confident in yourself, to which many people agreed and/or began to converse about the concept. Since it was a very popular statement I decided to write a little post on it. 

I began to fake confidence when I got into college, leaving school early at 17 and going into an environment full of people older than me was pretty scary, I felt like a very small fish in an extremely large pond, I was very intimidated. In an attempt to be less intimidated I began to act like I wasn’t, I spoke out, I initiated conversations and I made friends.

I done this by just pushing myself, pretending to be confident. Before I spoke I would give myself a pep talk “C’mon Robyn, do it” (inwardly of course, otherwise I’d look a tad weird…), but now days I don’t even have to give myself a pep talk, I can speak in big discussions, I can initiate conversations and make friends without even thinking about it, all because I pushed myself and put on a confident front.

Now people tell me I seem so confident in myself and I can wear what I like without caring what others may think, I have no problem airing my opinion when appropriate and I can talk to new people without shaking and stuttering (I do still say the stupidest things and stutter a little sometimes because I am extremely awkward).

Starting small is the best way to be of course, start by talking to people you feel comfortable talking to, a hello here and there, then expand your horizons, don’t go straight in and talk to the most intimidating person in the room. It’s good to push yourself, but not too much, even starting as small as smiling at people. Hold your voice as best you can, try not to let it shake, make eye contact. It gets easier, but faking confidence, faking that you are perfectly comfortable speaking to new people makes you so much more comfortable to speak to.

When you walk into a room or are even just walking in the streets or corridors, keep your head up, stop staring at your feet, try smiling at people around you. Even if you have to remind yourself every so often to stop looking at your feet eventually looking straight ahead will become a habit and you will be confident instead of faking it. Start with small things, don’t push yourself too far or make yourself feel uncomfortable, it is important to push yourself, but not so much you start to feel unconfident and it goes backwards.

This can also be transferred into blogging. Starting a blog firstly, the best thing to do is just make it, go for it, take that first step, don’t let yourself overthink it, go for it. If you are a blogger then transfer it into promoting your blog, tweeting and Facebooking, by posting about how fabulous your blog is whether you truly believe it or not you are encouraging people to read it because they thing “oh wow, he/she is so confident! There blog must be great!” Commenting on other people’s posts? Don’t let yourself think about it, that person will love the comment regardless so post it.

Communicating with other bloggers can be a very intimidating process. Some of these bloggers seem so put together, they’re intimidating, but they are human. By pretending you’re confident enough to speak out to bloggers and the blogging community you become confident in speaking out and communicating. Start with bloggers chats, commenting on blog posts, asking questions in bloggers chats is a good first step as people tend to be really interested in answering, but remember that blogger chats do tend to have questions already in them.

You can apply this to any part of your life be it work, education, social life, hobbies, blogging. If you just go in with all your might, act as confident as you can then eventually that confidence will be real! Start of small, don’t push yourself too much, but faking confidence is the best way to becoming confident. You start to feel the outcomes, the opportunities, the friends and it becomes too hard to give up so of course you start to be confident in yourself.

Just be careful. There is a thin line between confident and cockiness and sometimes people cross this line without even being aware. Keep yourself in check, you are smart, strong, beautiful, talented, but there is no need to make others feel like they are less than you. Stay true to who you are, just own it instead of shying away.

Of course, this is my opinion, my thoughts, my feelings and my experience. If you disagree then that’s cool. I hope this post can help some people out there finding it hard to grow in confidence. This is what worked for me, it may not work for you, but I would love to know what you think either way in the comments.

Thank you for reading,

I hope you enjoyed!

How did you grow in confidence?